My erratic, on-and-off again relationship with my blog is probably linked to my utter failure at being able to translate my thoughts onto paper, er, keyboard, as of recently. And this problem isn’t just when it comes to writing but to everything else. My tendency to overthink things bleeds into every aspect of my life – that’s why I stumble/mumble when speaking. Unless I’ve been drinking, I’m finding it harder and harder to express myself without laying my thoughts out in my head beforehand. Maybe I just have more of a wall than I thought? Or I’m too scared to say what’s in my head? Or maybe the solitude of NYC has just made me a bit withdrawn? I’d like to say I have a pretty robust social life in the city – I tend to be the one ( I think) to organize and plan, to bring people together..and I know I’m not as closed-off as I once was (when I was in the closet). I hope I portray myself as someone authentic and genuine – but yeh, I’m at this mental block in my life, unable to pinpoint what I want, who I want, why I want…maybe I need to clear my thoughts so I can be expressive again.
