HoL Does Bollywood: 1

I bring to you, boys girls & trannies, HoL's 1st edition of HoL Does Bollywood, or as I'll refer to it from now on - HoLdBW. Easy to remember, right?

Think of it as my refresher course in all things B'wood for some of you...and for the novices, a crash course...

In it I'll share clips of songs from movies past, present, and future...and if you're lucky, shirtless photos of some of Bollywood's grotesquely and unrealistically muscular "heroes" (Hrithik - I'm talking about you. Lay off of the whey protein, please. You arms are bigger than my chest, and that.is.not.cool.)

It will also be an ode to the beautiful women of B'wood (i.e. Aishwarya), but no shirtless photos of them will be provided. How filthy of you to think I would objectify women like that. I only do that to men.


To kick this "Party off, Yaar" I present to you Bipasha Basu and John Abraham. Two fine, fine specimens of the new kind of Bollywood megastar. Instead of having a family legacy to prop them to fame, they became stars the way God and Western-bred superficiality meant it to be: They're fucking gorgeous (and ex-models). Can they act? Who cares and who knows, I say!

In real life, they're "dating" - I place that in quotations b/c I have heard from 3 diff sources in Mumbai that John is a big 'mo. And what bigger of a PR stunt than to have the two hottest, ex-models "dating." Oh of course in Hollywood we've gotten past such sham couples (::cough tom katie cough::)

The following clip is from some crappy awards show, where they heinously lip-synch their way through a song from their debut movie, "JISM."

Yes, it was called JISM. It was controversial at the time of its release, b/c it included 12 or so kisses! Kisses! SCANDALOUS! Disappointingly though, there was no actual JISM. I was expecting a passionate song n dance sequence in some meadows, with the climax (no pun intended) being John JISM-ing on Bipasha's beautiful wheatish face. I was terribly wrong.

Then I realized JISM must be a word in Hindi with an entirely different meaning. However, since I don't really speak Hindi, I have nothing to back me up on that.

Enjoy this JISM-tastic clip. Pardon the lip-synching but enjoy the sheer hotness of the pair: